What to wear and what not to wear to a Funeral

Dearest Readers,

Today I will take the plunge and talk about something we rarely talk about (by choice). Funerals are difficult for family members. After the Pretty Little Liars season premiere, I have been battling in my head whether it is appropriate to write about this. But then I thought, “When we are in doubt, we Google it…” so we do expect to find something related to the subject.

Regardless of your religious beliefs, funeral attire must show that you are grieving. In a country like Malta, some are still very traditional. Sometimes family members choose to wear just black for a long time. This is a ‘tradition’ but it is also a sign of respect and sorrow. Unfortunately I attended my fair share of funerals. Not that this is the most important thing but I do notice that while people are there to pay their respects and say final goodbyes, they are not always dressed appropriately for church and for a funeral.

I cannot stress this enough, the clothes you wear are not the most important thing, but wearing the right clothes for the situation is always important. Choosing your funeral attire should be simple; it shouldn’t be something you have to think about (not too much, at least). The focus is not you – you do not need to shine. Here are some pointers for those who are still unsure on what to wear…

Sleeve Length

A minimum cap sleeve is expected. If you are going sleeveless, a shawl or a bolero is expected. No off the shoulder pieces unless you are then, covering up – I would actually avoid them completely.

No – Too ‘Sexy’

Perfect

Colour

In Malta we tend to go for Black. Unless the family states that the deceased would have wanted people to dress as usual, i.e. colourful, it is always safe to assume that Black and White (and Grey) is what you should be going for. A white-shirt and a pencil skirt will always do the trick.

Too Much (for a funeral)

This + Bolero = Good

Cut & Fit

Nothing too sexy. You are going to a funeral, not to pick up guys at a bar. Office wear is usually smart enough unless you feel like slipping into a Little Black Dress – A midi dress would be a tad more appropriate than a little one. In MY opinion: no dip-hem skirts or crop tops. No cut out tops and dresses either. A tasteful peplum might be ok.  Your clothes should fit you well – a dress that is too short is not appropriate. Go for something smart, I am not sure about baggy trousers… You have to be your own judge, but don’t go to a funeral wearing leggings (AS PANTS…), or even worse, wet-look leggings.

Too Baggy

Too much Skin

Perfect

Also Perfect.

Pattern

Don’t go for anything fussy. I think plain is always better, especially for a funeral. If you’re wearing patterns, make sure it does not draw too much attention. I think certain lace tops, young people were wearing to one of the funerals were tacky. This is not the place to wear your Saturday night sexy stretchy body. I understand that they are young, and possibly own a neon coloured wardrobe, but a white shirt is more appropriate than ‘ħamalli’ lace.

No

Pretty, but might be a bit much for a funeral…

This will work.

Shoes

Flats are ok, but I would prefer kitten heels (No, I don’t think they are hideous…) or a mid-heel. You want to look smart but not too sexy, so stilettos might be pushing it if you are not able to walk in them. Wedges are ok if they are not massive. I would go for black shoes if possible, something elegant, something you can walk in – again, be your own judge (this post is just a few tips!).

Perfect.

Good.

Good too.

Too Flashy!

Too much

Make up

Keep it simple. Foundation and a nude lipstick. Maybe add a little bit of blusher not to look completely washed out. If you think you’re going to cry (just being realistic here…), don’t overdo it with eye make up. Otherwise stick to waterproof. I went for just a little bit of mascara and a soft coloured eyeliner on the bottom lash line. In my opinion, this is not the place for false lashes. You do not want to look overdone. You do not want to look like you were more into your looks than to mourn. Don’t go all dolled up, it doesn’t reflect positively on you if you look like you spent an hour doing your make up. Go for a natural or a ‘no make-up’ bare look.

Sunglasses

Finally, if you are going for sunglasses, don’t go for anything massive, fancy or with lots of embellishments. Something simple that  fulfills its purpose and that’s it.

Too Conspicuous!

Good Choice

Men

Men always have it easier. Just wear your suit, a grey or black one; navy blue can be ok too. A clean white shirt and a black tie. If you do not have a black tie, go for some other subtle colour. Nothing too fancy, you can keep your pink tie for some other occasion. Do not put too much gel in your hair either, it’s not that good for you anwyay.

Image source for all of the above: ASOS.com

Onto one last example:

I don’t know if you watch Pretty Little Liars, but in the first episode this season, aired last week, all the “liars” attended a funeral. This is what they wore:

Pretty Little Liars at Walden’s Funeral (Hanna, Emily, Spencer, Aria)

With Jenna in the Background… (Emily, Spencer, Aria, Hanna, Jenna)

With Mona… (Emily, Spencer, Aria, Hanna, Mona)

Hanna: While I do like her dress, this was too sexy for a funeral. As soon as I saw it, I could not stop thinking about how inappropriate it was. Don’t get me wrong, I love it… just not for a funeral.

Emily: While introducing a little bit of colour, this dress was a very good choice for Emily. Points for Emily!

Spencer: As usual, Spencer is perfect. Her outfit was smart and there wasn’t too much skin showing. Great choice indeed.

Aria: I felt that her outfit was a bit too much. You do not need to keep your style at a funeral (it’s irrelevant!). Women usually wear the first smart black dress they find in their closets. Maybe the dress was ok (for her, given her style), even though it had a red belt/waistline, but I would have stopped there. The burgundy shoes were (pretty but) unnecessary.

Jenna: I think the lace was overdone here. Were those stockings? Really? (Don’t get me wrong, I DO like them, I just think a funeral is not the place for them.

Mona: She looked great. A very pretty dress, perfect cut, not too much cleavage – it worked out great for her build.

Finally, while I did put a lot of thought into this, you shouldn’t worry too much about it as long as you look smart and keep it simple. If you are attending a funeral, your main focus should be the family, not what you’ll be wearing. As long as it is something respectful and tasteful, the point of going is you being supportive. Be in the best attire possible, not for yourself or for a show, but to pay your respects.

I really hope I did not offend anyone with this post. I am only trying to be helpful here. The numbers show me that unfortunately many of you find this blog post because you just lost someone. My deepest sympathies go to all of you who have just lost a loved one. ❤

Love,

M.

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Shopping tips – problems with ‘picturing’ your wardrobe

Dearest Readers,

I haven’t posted a list in ages and since I will be going to London next week, I thought, “What better time to post something about shopping?” This is also something for me to keep in mind!

Shopping can be fun, but you have to be careful, unless you want to do this every year:

Weirdly enough, being a lady sometimes means that: the more clothes you have, the more you feel like you have nothing to wear. Still, unless our bank accounts are exploding with money (mine isn’t) and our closets are huge, we sometimes need to hold the breaks, if anything, just to keep our closets clean and tidy, right?!

If you’re anything like me, you do not want to carry an extra bag when you are shopping. But when looking for something in particular, you might want to actually do that: take it with you. That’s the only way you can get it right on the first time (unless you have a photographic memory). Otherwise, your trip to the mall can be more than simply unsuccessful. Besides, it will turn out to be a waste of your time as you might need to return it. This is why picturing your wardrobe from afar, might not be such a good idea:

1. Colour and Pattern

This is probably the most realistic problem. Colours and Patterns seem to be different in our head to what they are in reality… So, you decided not to have one extra bag with you, but you still need to get the right item to go with it. You brave the shops, and end up with a darker/lighter hue than you originally desired. Grrrr! Whether you LOVE shopping or HATE shopping – this is just a waste of time!

The colour and pattern might match the image of your skirt in your head, but will it work when you get home to try everything on? Not sure about that. You will then need to buy a new top anyway, and a skirt to match your new top – this habit can become dangerous!

Source: Twicsy

It wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a look at your closet before you head out. You don’t want to head back with 10 new items and realize that ‘ooops’ you have so many items in the very same colour. (I do know people who don’t mind that actually…)

2. Cut and Shape

You might be thinking, “This would look great with my latest peplum addition.” But I say, “Will it really?”

Flares and pleats seem to re-size themselves as need be when they are only in our head. You wouldn’t want to look like a lampshade and sometimes you think skinny pants do the trick. Just ask yourself if you have enough or too much play with shapes in your outfit.

Just because something is all over the shops, doesn’t mean it should be all over our closets. Peplum might be in, but I’ll never wear it – the cut and shape is not really for me. Again – our mental image of what we have in our closet drawer is not always accurate, so unless you are shopping for fun, beware and be aware!

Not sure if this shape is really ‘you’…

3.Texture and Material

While some people can pull off wearing different materials combined and different textures and patterns, this is not a matter of choosing a print and checked shorts and not caring about anything else. While we should all be encouraged to play with soft and harder textures, plain and bolder patterns, one must keep in mind that not everything goes, at least, in my opinion.

More so, not everyone will look good in the same things. For instance, I do not think that velvet goes with everything, but some people combine it with different things and make it look great anyway. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t experiment. But, if you are looking for something specific, take the item you need to match to with you. (Am I preaching?)

If you don’t, you might find out that your most favourite buy does not look good with your linen pants… Your lacy blouse would look better with satin, and whatever have you. Be daring in what you are wearing but do look at the mirror before you head out to the world.

You’re doing it right! Source: marieclaire

4. Space

If you are going to grab some more basics, remember, our closets are finite. You can make space… but there is a limit. Don’t go for massive furry coats or puffy jackets if you are not sure you are actually going to wear them. They will take up half of your closet space, at least until you decide to stop feeling guilty and put them away for good. I’m not suggesting crop tops to save space, but even when it comes to shoes, think: do you have space where you can store these massive wedges?

No one wants to see your shoe boxes on your balcony in the scorching sun. That is too upsetting – Shoes need to be loved! But you need to be practical. This also applies to bags, so do look into space saver solutions if your closet is a fuller than your fridge.

Unless you have your own Mr.Big, in which case…

Space is not an issue!

Here… Now you have space for your 1,000 pairs of shoes, all of which you clearly need.

5. Money

We all wish that money is never an issue. Truth be told, it sometimes is especially if you are a full time student! At this point in my life I would rather stock up on basics from cheaper brands but then splurge on a good suit, a staple handbag or a statement necklace.

Shoes fall under a whole new category.  (caution: lie alert) They deserve all the attention, but that being said, I would only splurge if they are to die for and if they won’t be killing my feet! I don’t want to spend too much money on shoes I can never walk in again.

Go for good deals, carefully. Splurge on the things you definitely love and will wear and enjoy for a long time. If you can afford designer wear, that’s great. But again, I’d get something I can get a lot of use of like the perfect Burberry coat or a Louis Vuitton bag. ❤

Wise words or not so much?

I do suggest keeping these things in mind when shopping especially when faced with limitless possibilities. But at the end of the day, shopping should be fun and obviously as Carrie Bradshaw suggested, it counts as exercise too.

I know that many people hate shopping and I hate it too sometimes (when I am too busy to find what I need…)! These tips should help make your life easier the next time you need to head to the mall.

Love,
M.

Pastels Vs. Neon

Hey Ladies!

It’s almost the weekend again…

So today I started thinking about all of the lovely summer colours. No more grays and mauves and dark dark browns. Now it’s the time for colours! And what’s more colourful and summery than an outfit featuring pastel colours or neon colours? P.S. You can check out what I think are the spring essentials in this post here.

Obviously pastel colours are not for everyone and moreso neon colours. To wear neon colours you need to be rather daring… I hurried to Polyvore and went through some of the things I had already liked. I found some new ones too and I build up these fours sets for you, two pastels looks and two neon looks. I hope you like them! I tried to keep the trend to a minimum so that these looks could work for women of any shape and size.

Green Peas

Pastels 1

Pink n’ Teal

pastels 2

Squeezing into Orange

Blue n’ Green, don’t be mean!

neon 1

Which trend do you prefer out of the two? Let me know in the comment section. I would style pastels for daytime and morning weddings and neons for evening looks as they give a bold gutsy look to your whole outfit.

P.S. Now that we are talking about summer colours and styles, check out how I style nude colours here and how I wear dip hem clothing and skirts here.

Are you gonna be a pastel or neon girl this summer?

Love,
M

OOTD – LBD and Blazer

Hey Ladies!

I have an outfit post for you today. I had a surprise party last Saturday and this is what I wore. Again, I apologize for the not so great quality photo. I promise I do my best 😛

Sometimes you have no idea what to wear. And well, a little black dress does the trick! If you wear a statement item with it, like say, a coloured blazer or bold coloured tights, you will have a complete outfit.  I wore my new heart tights. As usual, these only lasted one night… since they were caught in the zipper of my boots and they tore. Good thing I got them for only a little more than 1 euro from ebay! Again, I went for the ankle stiletto boots… This is how I would wear them here.

DSCF7610

Motel Rocks Dress
Boohoo *Red Blazer (In this post here)
Heart Black Tight (Ebay – you can buy them here)
New Look Ankle Stiletto Boots (Also worn here)
New Look Box Clutch Bag (Also in the recent buys list)
Accessorize Necklace and matching Bracelet
H&M Pearl Stud Earrings

I hope you like this look. I personally was happy to wear the new blazer that I had for quite a while in the wardrobe. I was comfortable and I still looked good.

What would you style a bold coloured blazer with? Let me know in the comment section.
P.S. My Blog Sale is still going on! Check it out here.

Love,
M.

Stripes OOTD

Hey Ladies!

Today I will be posting last Sunday’s outfit. I wore this outfit to Sunday lunch at my boyfriend’s house. I could have worn jeans and a hoodie to lunch but I just couldn’t wait to wear my new blazer. This was one of the items I got in this haul here. Truth be told, when I posted my How to wear Stripes post, I only had a couple of striped tops in my closet. So believe me, I was very excited when I saw this blazer. This is how I decided to style this fabulous blazer which I bought for a complete steal.

100_2110 100_2113

100_2117

Blazer (ClubSin)
Black Midi Dress (Zara)
Flesh Colour Hold ups (Pompea)
Ballerina Crochet Flats (ASOS)
Handbag (Gift – Mc Bailey)
Hair Cuff (Shana)
Necklace (Gift)

100_2119

I hope you like this look! I personally love this blazer. It is tight fitting in a very flattering way and it really makes your outfit look bold. Would you ever go for a striped blazer? Let me know in the comment section.

Love,
M