Have you ever felt like nothing is ever enough? Do you ever feel like sometimes your effort is irrelevant?
I do, sometimes. When I overcome an obstacle, another one is usually waiting by the door. It’s not that I’m not happy, it’s not that I am depressed (I am alright): it’s just that sometimes life doesn’t even let us catch a break. It doesn’t need to be huge things, just a sequence of small miscalculations – that’s all it takes, really!
I’ve been wanting to write more about life for quite a while. I truly enjoy writing the ‘life’ bits of this blog. My absolute favourite has to be this one: Why I choose to surround myself with happy people. And I sometimes question why I have been writing mostly about beauty, when I said it myself: “beauty, fashion, life“.
This summer wasn’t an easy one. After a whole year of doing my very best, there were times where I felt like nothing is ever enough. And even when I was happy with my efforts, other people weren’t and they expected more. Question is, who am I doing it for? I think I might be growing up… Yes, I do get overwhelmed, and I do get worked up on things, but I am learning to let go, I am learning how to put my needs first. Then, I started a new journey, something I truly loved. I did not care that it would not be worth the hassle. I figured “the experience will be worth while.” And it was, but no, not really… I did learn a lot, I did get my answers, but there were too many complications. Things that made me feel anxious, things that reminded me of an old me, the ‘me’ I’ve been trying to grow out of.
So I sat for my exam today, and I’d like to think I did my best. I’d take responsibility if I have to and try again. But will they? Will it be enough if I did do my best? All in all, this was not the greatest summer. And the worst thing is that now that I feel like I truly need a break, I will be back to school in a few weeks’ time.
In retrospect, it all boils down to little things. Why do we think these things matter so much? Why do I even waste my time thinking about them? Only a few things truly matter in life, I’d say: family and love. I watched two great people die this summer, so yes, my problems are irrelevant in retrospect. And for this reason, the ‘little’ things I have no control over, should be put in the box of ‘irrelevant things’.
I choose to be happy, I choose not to care unless I really have to. I choose to love, I choose to smile. (Click to see me smile)
I choose my family, I choose my boyfriend and my friends. Yes, I choose happiness.
I choose happiness, over the little things.
What do you choose?